He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
