I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I need a beard to bite.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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