Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
