Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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