Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
