so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
