I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
