I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You need Xanax blowdarts
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
