never play flip cup with pint glasses
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Randomize
