Farmville is her only friend.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
