Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
