why didn't you poke me back
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
