so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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