What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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