Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Only a mothe r could love this liver
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
