So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
