That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
