he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize