Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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