you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
