saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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