check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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