Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
