everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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