i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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