I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
