scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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