New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
