Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
