Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
