i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
