Small penises have feelings too.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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