it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
