can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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