this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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