On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
this is an emotional support booty call
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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