i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
