I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
