It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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