just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
