I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
