Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
