names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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