Whod you bang
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
