Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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