just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
