She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
