its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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