He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
