You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
