I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
